Woman, Thy Name Is Not Frailty

Where are the Children to go?

2010-02-25T00:55:00.000-08:00

This couple has just gotten married. After the fanfare and tantara at the wedding dinner, it was back to being the good old couple to take on the world and start a family.

Soon his wife gave birth to a bundle of joy and everyone was delighted with the new family member. And then it began. The truth, the reality, the price of conformity. But now the question is, who will take care of the baby? Both parents are worried and none of them can afford to give up their jobs to take care of their daughter because they need to make ends meet. So the next best solution is to find a child minder.

With all these arrangements now the parents only get to see the kid once a week and this is what they have been waiting for? Is this what we have all come down to? More and more children these days are being raised by maids, day care centers and relatives, so how would they know that the people closest to them are not their parents?

This is the kind of thing we ignore because the jet set lifestyle everyone wants a piece of are given priority above all else. How sad is that? Is there a solution to this ongoing mess we have created for ourselves or is this something call Life?

An Ode to Her

2009-09-14T18:02:00.001-07:00

She wakes up at 5,
prepares breakfast for everyone,
do the laundry,
hang the laundry,
see the kids off to school.
She then do the dishes,
washes the car
vacuums the house,
make the beds,
clean the toilets
and prepares lunch.
Sometimes,
there is a little break
in between
for her to catch
forty winks.
She wakes up
to continue some routine
of cooking, cleaning and washing.
She walks the dog,
feeds the dog,
maybe also the hamsters,
rabbits or fishes.
She has to see to it
that the kids are always clean,
the house is always tidy,
the food is always ready
and she has to take the brunt
from everyone
because that is what she does.
She'll be the last to sleep,
the first to wake,
the last to eat,
the first to take
all the shit.
This is her,
the woman who works
with her bare hands,
the domestic helper,
the maid.

The Paranoia of Being Woman

2009-09-03T06:11:00.000-07:00

Being a woman is like being a target to all forms of danger. We are always told to be careful when we go out at night and not to walk in dark places. To be careful when we take a cab, go down to the car park, carrying a handbag, going for a holiday and anywhere unaccompanied. Is it really that dangerous or are we just paranoid?

There have been cases where women were abducted at car parks, raped and murdered, women who die from the fall when their bags were snatched, women who were stabbed in a robbery attempt, women this and women that. If everyone of us lives according to the intimidation of criminals waiting to get at us then it's no better than to just exist for the sake of it. We might as well kill ourselves while we're at it.

Of course there will always be dangers and perils but they are not at every corner and nook. Of course we are always watched by strangers and men with intentions but they don't act them out all the time. Of course women are frail and weaker in many ways but not all women agree that they should stay that way.

Safety is not just an issue for women but for everyone including children, senior citizen and also men. It's about being aware of the surroundings and not fear the dark, it's about simplifying our lifestyles and not embrace poverty, it's about reacting with a cool head and not rush into death throes.

I have lived in places where the women folk walk singularly or in groups to go back home in the wee hours of the morning because they can't afford the luxury of their own transport or be chauffeur driven home. There are women who live below the poverty line and are susceptible to danger everyday of their lives but they continue against all odds to strive as the weaker sex. Women who are in all kinds of trades from the intellectual to the cyprian and yet they manage to make the best of themselves. And then there are those who cower behind the shadows of their men for protection against other men.

But I say flowers may be fragile and yet they can survive through harsh winters and terrifying storms and still be the delicate beauty that they are.

Don't hold your Children Hostage

2009-07-13T22:55:00.000-07:00

When you are a parent whatever you say is heard by your children whether they want to or not. When you call them names or put them down in the fit of your anger every single word is recorded in the human heart and mind. And it may take a long while before your children will forget it completely or erase it from their lives. Most of the time we say things that we don't mean. It could be a discriminatory joke, a double entendre to mean different things to different people or even loud and brash statement we believe to be true at that point in time. Anything we say can be interpreted as sarcasm, cynicism, suggestive notions and even compliments. It all depends of the speaker and his true intentions, and the listener in his state of mind.

Children, no matter how old they grow up to be, will always get what their parents are saying. To a stranger it might be something negligible but to the sons and daughters they could be a scathing remark. Parent-children relationships can be quite delicate especially if there is lack of communication. Not being able to apologize or take back the spoken words with your children because the age-old teaching says you don't have to will only make things worse. They may carry this guilt or hurt throughout their adulthood and set themselves to pass this down onto their own children.

If you have physically or verbally abused your children and leave them to bear the yoke in their conscience they may drift further from you or may never want to have anything to do with you ever again. The trouble with parents as they stroll into their twilight years is the need to recon ciliate but if they are not careful whatever they say will sound like the rantings of a guilt trip they lay on their children.

Sometimes relationships can be reestablished but sometimes not. Children who have had little or no communication with their parents will find it difficult to begin this journey when they themselves have already crossed it. The distance between them may be too vast to fill with the missing years and it can be quite painful to go back to the place where love never truly existed. In desperation some parents try to hold their children hostage with their age or ailments but this form of terrorism is no better than a natural catastrophe. In the end, everyone loses.

To avoid this crisis in the years to come parents will have to come down from their high horses and listen to their children for once. Hear them out and accept their grievances about you. You may not be able to understand everything that is going on but by opening up and talking on the same level will get you across the treacherous waters and keep you from walking into the deep end of the ocean. Even if you've missed the boat when everyone was younger it's never too late to try. Just don't make it hard and hold anyone prisoner because ultimately you would only incarcerate yourself.

Parents are the worst influence on their kids

2009-05-06T20:13:00.000-07:00

The statement alone will get parents spewing with rage and madness. How dare you say I'm the worst influence on my kids? Will most likely be the answer. But that already show parents can sometimes be bias, unreasonable, illogical, extreme and overly sensitive. Even the best of parents have a tendency to teach children to grow up in a certain mold, to walk their walk and talk their talk. It may seem harmless and proper at the beginning but ultimately a child has to find his or her own personalities, paths and significance.

Children may seem like potential doctors, lawyers and engineers in an adult's eyes but they may opt for something as simple as a chef instead or a social worker. Expectations from parents are the number killer in a good relationship with their children. The want for their sons and daughters to be somebody acceptable to world standards is greater than the truth about who their children really are. Imagine how screwed up a child would get just to prove to you he or she can make the grades, climb the social ladder and make something of themselves just because you want them to.

The argument of course is you want your kids to have the best and be the best. This debilitating conditioning not only limits the children's perspective of life but will also mislead them from their true passion where they will excel even more.

The inclination for parents to tell their children how much traits and looks they inherited is another factor to remind the children about their roots and origin. And the sad thing is the kids actually believe that their anger, impatience, propensities, likes and dislikes are actually scientifically proven and that they cannot change or outgrow them to become their own person. So at every reunion there is bound to be a clash of similar personalities.

On the other hand, some parents realize their faults and weaknesses and drive their children to the other direction to be someone unlike them. But this mindless thrust will work just as badly as parents who insist on their children following the exact footsteps they take. So if one parent is the former and another is the latter, how will that child not get confused? If parents begin to see this incongruity of raising a child by themselves a lot of heartaches can be avoided in the future from estrangement to misunderstanding, blame to severed ties.

Parents can dote or daunt, seem forceful or indifferent, bias or judgmental and it is especially detectable when children are young and innocent. Of course there is no ideal environment for a child to grow up in at any time or any moment but if their parents are open-minded, receptive to change from other teachers of life, communicative, supportive in their children’s dreams that would be the first step to connect and bond. Being optimistic, inspiring and spiritually awaken who be asset but that may be asking for too much.

Just remember whatever difficulties you've been through is yours and yours alone, no one can take your place and live it all over again just because you've made it. Not especially your children. In fact, there is so much more you can learn from your children if you would only listen. Besides, the kid in you will never grow old so don't force it and make misery a priority.

How much do you add to the rivalry?

2009-04-27T21:48:00.001-07:00

Do you, as a parent, ever thought that you are the cause for sibling rivalries? I've always wondered where this strange phenomenon derived from. Since the basis of this event is jealously I brushed it aside and thought nothing of it since it's a common occurrence throughout the entire world. It was only recently that I realized, from conversations and revelations that the cause for this unhealthy vicious cycle could originate from the parents themselves. How is it so?

Favoritism, it's something nobody can deny even if you swear upon anyone's head. We can't help but like someone more than the other from friends to colleagues, relatives to our own children. This is where it festers if you are not careful. The words we use, the gestures we make, the actions and reactions we perform are all obvious giveaways to a child or anyone sensitive enough to pick up on them. By giving just one child something extra it is already a betrayal of your affection. The other children may not realize the biasness but subconsciously they pick up on it and it grows into a realization when they come of age. This will then trickle down into their emotions when you raise you voice louder at them or behave more violently.

It has always been the case when parents dote on the new born baby the older child will get angry and envious to the point of wanting to hurt the new arrival. But of course, at this stage, everyone laughs about it and tell each other how cute children can be and ignore the fact that the on-going one-sided fondness for one to the other will create a rift. Comparing your children's abilities, intelligence, beauty and whatsoever will not help bond their relationship, much less yours.

I've heard of cases where siblings carry their hatred for one another throughout their adulthood and cause even more damage, like how adults do, and make life miserable for one another. From claiming properties to tussling for affection, embarking on exposes to sabotaging each other's lives, and to think that it all started because mom or dad prefers the other child, gives him or her more attention and equate them with the level of intimacy shown.

On the Street Where I Live

2009-04-24T12:39:00.000-07:00

The scream came at 5.45 in the morning. At first it was just a scream. Then she said 'Help me, security guard'. It was followed by 'Call the police'. I woke up and went to the window to see what was happening. The first thought that came to mind was a robbery.

Four guys were walking ahead and this woman came running after them to try and stop them from going. She kept yelling to the security guard who was sitting close by to call the police. But he called the head of the security guard who came by later by car to see what was all the commotion all about.

Out of the four guys, one walked away while the other three remained. The guards were there and she was yelling at the three guys to get the other one back. The other one who hit her in the face and kicked her dog. She was a resident on the street where I live and we all have seen her walking her dogs as early as five in the morning at the park. Only this time four guys approached her. 'You guys surrounded me and was going to beat me up. 'One of you asked for sex and then you kicked my dog and hit me in the face' she said. Some neighbors where out there when one of the three guys apologized and said it will never happen again next time. The woman answered 'There won't be a next time and all the guys should be put away. You picked the wrong woman'. The head of the security ask her why she was yelling and she kept repeating 'Why aren't you calling the police?', but instead he ask her again 'Why are you shouting?'. Finally he gave her the number to call and drove off. Aren't security people trained to handle situations like these indiscriminately, knowing that a panicky person can't help but shout out of fear rather than at him?

She was over six foot tall and bigger than most women. For any other women to walk their dogs at this ungodly hour would be insane, but perhaps she knew she had an advantage of height and build. But to think if the four men were to subdue her and accosted her, the whole morning's episode would have taken a different turn. I could hear from my window the three men that were left to defend themselves were scared. Some neighbors thought they should be forgiven since they have apologized and swear it will never occur again. But what if the victim was a smaller, petite woman who didn't seem as intimidating as this one. Could an apology be accepted after they have raped her?

I don't know if it's just here in Malaysia or if it's all over the world for them to behave as though nothing has happened. I could tell one of two things were on the minds of the people gathered at the scene. It was either, 'nothing happened, don't get excited' or 'you asked for it for going to the park at this time when rapists target their victims'.

There are so many comments made by renowned people and influential figures about women asking for trouble when they are clad in skimpy outfits and suggestive prettifications. Does this hold true to what rapists have in mind? Do they attack women who are loose, indecent and immoral physically? Apparently not. So if anyone is to be arrested for arousing sexual deviants, maybe the fashion designers should be the first to go, followed by advertising agencies that produce smutty ads, TV shows that is bawdy and racy and everyone else who implicates vulgarity.

One of the common axioms men have among themselves is the idea that a sexy woman should be raped. Wherever did that idea spring from? Would it help if a mother teaches her sons to respect women the way they are whether they are plain looking, voluptuous, drop dead gorgeous or escorts men for a living?

O Woman

2009-04-09T06:09:00.001-07:00

O Woman

O how she smells
of sweetness and sorrow,
of lavender and magnolia.
O how she smells
of perfume and paranoia,
of conforminty and discontentment.
But she stays with the man
she once thought she loved.
But she does what he says
hoping that someday it'll be enough.
O how she cries
with debts and liabilities,
with conditions and ambitions.
O how she cries
with ethics and virtue,
with leftovers and residue.
But she claims her womanhood
with pride and joy.
But she denies her beauty
for love, for family, for society.
O woman how do you fare?
In this inauthentic world that lusts
for your body, for your soul,
O woman you are who you trust.

Woman, Heal Thyself

2009-02-02T07:07:00.000-08:00

Are you in pain? Are you suffering from something that you have been shouldering all your life? Is something hurting you so bad you don't want to carry on living? Isn't it about time you did something about it?

Why should you bear the brunt of an unhappy marriage? Why should you allow yourself to be a slave to someone you used to love? Why do you even look at all the beauty in the mirror and shy away from it?

From the sex industry to homemakers, from pole dancers to low down cleaners, from real life action to man made fiction, women are still portrayed in some countries as second class citizens and as useless commodities.

The have been instances where women I know were raped, assaulted, robbed, psychologically abused and slaved to their families their entire life. And yet, an ex prostitute once told me what one of her client said to her. He said, women have so much power over men but they don't realize it. If they would only come together to use that power the world would be a different place altogether. Isn't that enough said of what women can do to help themselves?

Begin by believing in yourself, knowing that you are a woman with no less than you are. Stop complaining about this being a man's world and create your own little world of equality. If you have the hand that rocks the cradle, if you are a woman of substance, if you are at the place where you can make a greater change to humanity, be that woman but first, heal yourself.

This blog is dedicated to Emma B. wherever you are.

Why Are You So Sad My Dear?

2008-12-21T18:04:00.000-08:00

Why are you so sad?

I was listening to Edie Brickell and the New Bohemians this morning when she was singing Nothing. She asks, "Hey, what's the matter? What's wrong with you? Don't tell me nothing." Everyone gets the blues. From the youngest to the oldest person alive, everyone gets the blues. Call it sadness, call it depression, call it a disorder or crisis but it all comes down to the same. It's how we handle it that makes the difference from a serious case to one that we get over. We could spend days and nights drowning ourselves in sorrow or we could get up, get out and work it all away. Of course, this may be easier said than done, but then again, life is simple until we complicated it.

So why do we get the blues that could lead to an eventual, possible devastation? That is the question we each have to ask ourselves. It could be loss of a loved one, separation from an intimate friend, disappointment, pressure, changes or something we are afraid to face up to. I guess we could blame our imperfect bodies for making us feel that way or the perscripted drugs and supplements we use to relief ourselves one way or the other.

One of the questions we could ask ourselves is 'why are we not happy?' To find an answer to a question like this, we need time alone. We need to listen than to jabber away excitedly about the qualms and quandaries of our lives. If you have the means, you could pay for professional releasing sessions or you could join groups who practices meditations and healings, but, in the end, it still comes back to you to answer your own question.

Some people can ignore their unhappiness for years, but of course we hear of cancers developing out of stress and depression. No one can make us unhappy, not even the man who made our lives miserable in the long and tedious marriage. Not even the obnoxious in-laws or the relentless boss. Not at work or at home. Not alone or in crowds, no one but ourselves.

One of the easiest ways to discover your downheartedness is to list down what makes you feel that way. Write them off one by one by finding a solution rather than sweeping them under the carpet. Alleviate your pains, hurts and disappointments and go back to doing what you love doing most. This may be a first step but it will definitely not be your last.

“In sooth, I know not why I am so sad.
It wearies me, you say it wearies you
But how I caught it, found it, or came by it,
What stuff ‘tis made of, whereof it is born,
I am to learn….”

Merchant of Venice
by William Shakespeare

What Becomes of a Mama's Boy?

2008-12-14T07:54:00.000-08:00

Because he's the only son. Because he's cute. Because he's everything a mother's ever wanted. Because he's ... a boy. Do mothers ever wonder what becomes of their sons they dote on because they are boys?

Some mothers, sadly, never stop with the mollycoddle that continues to their son's adulthood to his wedding day to his dying day, if they live long enough to see to it. But with all the attention and over indulgence in the boy's life what becomes of them when they grow older?

Boys who are pampered throughout their lives will have a difficult time feeling confident about themselves. With constant badgering of a mother's affection a boy can turn rebellious or an introvert, which will take years for them to undo before they can find their own identity.

A mother sometimes forgets the powers she has over her son. She doesn't even have to say a single word and her child can pick it up even from the small gesture and negligible expression; her disapproval of the girl he brings home to the friends he hangs out with to his choice of career. The one liner she gives to her son as an advice can be extremely potent and he may change or refocus his life for his mother's sake. When mothers tell me they're proud of the way they bring up their children I often wonder what they could be proud of other than giving them proper guidance and seeing them through to their adulthood. Some go to the extent of listing out the goodness of their son as though it were a competition between neighbors, friends and relatives but the toughest part for a son on the pedestal is to live up to his mother's expectation.

A mommy's boy may pent up all his emotions and become dysfunctional in his own way which will spill over to his own family. Everyone who grows up under their parent's strict supervision and contrived atmosphere will find themselves in a dilemma when they leave home to see the variety of lifestyles and freedom they never had at home. For a son who has always been his mother's favorite he will have to battle with her voice of adulation and his own choices and desires he has in life. He may also be embraced with so much fear he would not dare take any challenges that might break his comfortable cocoon. In time, he may eventually trudge back home with his tail between his legs back to his mother's bosom.

On the other extreme, the boy who has always been tied to his mother's apron strings may travel to the farthest end of the world to stay clear away from her. He will keep his distance for as long as he can withhold while his mother may wonder why he has gone to the dark side.

If a mother continues to treat her adult son like a child she wants him to be he may end up being a prodigal son who eats, lounges and stays with her for the rest of his life knowing that he will always be welcomed into her arms. He would have lost his aspirations to pursue his own dreams and desires and be the man he has always wanted to be.

Why Do We Nag Our Men Away?

2008-12-09T23:20:00.000-08:00

One of the most devastating attributes associated with women is her natural born talent to nag, which comes close to nonsensical jabbering and slanderous gossiping. Wherever this exacerbating behavior comes from it is by no means a disease stricken only to the female gender nor is it an incurable pestilence that has no cure. However, throughout the centuries, this undesirable distinction is confined to the woman's quarters for better or for worse. But truth be told, how much of this is justifiable and how much of this is hogwash?

People have generally been told, since the beginning of time, to segregate gender for the sake of physical appearances that make them different from one another. Along with that conducts and demeanor are attached to this distinction to further confuse people of their similarities more so from their dissimilarities. A lot of gender-biased lessons are usually handed down from our parents, grandparents and ancestors that manipulate us instead of allowing us to be free to create our own person. We were told, and still are told, about the way we should carry ourselves and that nagging is a woman's thing while watching porn is a man's.

If you still believe in the age old fable of nagging a person to drive demons out of him, you can still try but don't expect anyone to stay put to listen to your hen-pecking. Wanting a person to change for his own good is not a duty we have to bestow upon ourselves. If you think about it, how can anyone of us be any better when we ourselves make up our lives as we live day to day. Whoever sanctioned us the power to be above everyone else is as superficial and as fake as the smile we stretch in our faces when we parade our beauty in pageants.

People who are addicted to habits that are detrimental to their health need not be told or reminded every chance you see them. It not only has a reverse psychology on them but it will also make them detest you for being loquacious and imposing. If you understand why people hang on to their obsessions, there is just about two things you can truly do. Let them know how you feel about it and love them anyway. Support, affection, optimism and compassion work much better than any chosen words.

Other peoples flaws and imperfections remain exactly what they are; they belong to the owners to correct themselves. It could be talked over once or even never if it is already known to them. If you yourself live by a set of rules you acquired since you were a child, it doesn't mean everyone else has to buy into that and observe them like you do. If you have too much to talk about or say you can only help yourself by finding a way to detach yourself from the mindless jabber; writing a poem or story would help, or even blogging, making entries into your journals or a simple meditation.

Instinctively, people are not meant to rant and rave to no end. It's not even remotely human to talk gibberish till the cows come home because ultimately we just run out of breath or things to say. A small action will mean much more in times of confusion and when the need if great. So instead of nagging your men to death, why not love them to death?

Who Wants To Be A Man?

2008-11-11T20:04:00.001-08:00

I was speaking to a friend the other day about how men are and I realize there are so many rules to follow just to be one. The list of what straight men should not do in public is unbelievably extensive:

- men should not cry
- men should not show affection to anyone else except to his wife or girlfriend
- men should be in control of all kinds of situation
- men should be calm and level headed in times of crisis
- men should not scream
- men should not show any signs of frailty
- men should be the bread winner in every home
- men should play manly games
- men should love cars, football and adventure
- men should be rough and tough
- men should be gentlemen
- men should not like pansy colors
- men should have properties, successful careers and a family
- men should protect the entire family in times of trouble
- men should never break down or fall apart
- men don't go shopping
- men men are not frivolous
- men don't gossip
- men are not expressive

And it goes on and on and on. No wonder some men rather turn gay and be happy. Such a notion of do's and don'ts for men (and even women) are nothing but someone's idea of institutionalizing the bull from the cow. The idea of men not being able to show their emotions is a cruel torture that can only drive him insane. When we ask about why most men are aggressive need we even analyze it that far? Murderers, rapists, bullies, criminals are usually men with pent up fears and there is not much they can do about it lest they be labeled as weaklings and wimps.

If you are ever in the presence of a man who plays up his machismo like how society wants him to, you will also know that he can be just as vulnerable as a damsel in distress. If you can imagine how women so easily console themselves in tears, shopping, embraces and furry toys, how can a man do the same by drinking, smoking and womanizing? He needs just as much love and affection, which only a spouse or steady can offer him. Where else is he going to go when she turns him away?

With that kind of subjugation of what a man should be, indeed, who really truly wants to be a man?

That Spouse Of Mine

2008-11-03T18:59:00.001-08:00

After years of marriage we let down our guards. We don't go around doing the act of gender bias tricks anymore like when we used to during the courtship days. At some point, husbands and wives find the truth about each other and get agitated, frustrated or disgusted with their partners. It takes a lot of love to look beyond sight to accept that man or woman we thought we loved so much but is now a nuisance. So where did all the hopes and joys go? Was there even love in the first place?

Marriage has become quite a dud in recent times. Divorces pop up just as frequent as couples queuing up to go down the aisle. But the question remains, how can we live with that spouse of ours for the rest of our lives? It sounds like an impossible task, and it is in practice but many people have done so back when divorce was not even an option.

With so much of complications and activities these days for the younger generation to cope with, relationship has taken second or even third place after career, adventure and everything else in between. However, it's not right to compare how things used to be with how things are now because times are different now. People have evolved to better standings and intellectual mindsets.

To follow a tradition blindly is just as bad as not following it at all. Some things need to be altered while others can remain in our lives. Not just because someone said so, but because we know what works and what doesn't; loving someone for example.

For that very first moment we lay our eyes on someone we think we love what are we actually thinking about or what do we feel for that person? If the whole idea is to get into that person's pants or skirt, then there's got to be more if the thought of spending the rest of our lives is at stake. If marriage is a contract that tells the whole world we are legal to do anything sexually explicit with one another without being arrested, then the thought of nuptial bliss is gone even before it could begin.

It's difficult to adjust and adapt ourselves to other people's whims and fancies, eccentricities and quirks, but love is about tolerance. It's about contribution and acceptance. It's about patience and change. Growing old with someone we can love or learn to love at the later years of our lives would help get us through the darkest of storms. Communicating with each other is a better remedy than ignoring one another when things go wrong. Love is not rolling in bed making hot sex, or maybe for some, when we grow older but to be blinded to the things that are losing their luster and be aware of the things that are forever illuminated.

Nothing stops without our consent. And it takes only very little from us to set things in motion again. When you think about it, they are very simple choices to make, love them or leave them but don't make it hard for them.

Made To Order

2008-10-28T20:10:00.000-07:00

The concept of having a foreign maid picking up after your children, serving meals, taking care of your parents and to be at your beck and call 24-7 is the norm in most households; or at least here in Malaysia. All of a sudden if she leaves, everyone panics. You become desperate for a replacement and go to the ends of the world to find someone who will do the menial job in the house no one wants to do. The price gets higher, the supply seems shorter and the reality of finding domestic help becomes harder. Somewhere in the world someone may be breeding children, girls especially, to be maids of the future, whereby you can order according to the specifications that fit your needs. Is that how it will be?

But in the meantime, while waiting for the assembly line to churn out new products, what are you going to do about this 'dilemma'? One of the simplest things you can do is to simplify your life and you family life. The less clutter you have, the easier it becomes for you to clean up regularly on a daily or weekly basis. Sharing the work with family members will also help lighten the load and teach everyone to be responsible and more appreciative of what they have.

Complaints about children today not being able to do anything for themselves are conversation pieces that seem to go nowhere. It's talked about, revealed to the world, and debated on but nothing much has changed. To start being responsible adults have to begin at the level of children. Learning how to cook, clean the toilet, weed the grass, wash the car, do the laundry may seem like insignificant chores, but if maids become a thing of the past whose going to do them in the future If children are not taught today?

Our dependency on domestic help has shot up to a level that will eventually cripple us if we are not careful. Sure, having a three storey bungalow is prestigious and lavish but imagine it without any maid service. No affluent person would want a house filled with things of beauty and dust.

Sooner or later we have to face the fact that doing a little house work won't kill us, and maybe good exercise and therapy instead. While the living standards are being raised at every tick of the clock, more and more people are venturing into alternatives for a better living. Technology does help advance our lifestyles but to completely enslave ourselves to it is inviting even more vexations in the future.

Some people love the idea of robots and robotics taking over unwanted and demeaning tasks and the possibility of that day approaching is credible. But to forgo the simple things in life and allowing machines to live for us will only be our inevitable extinction. Evolution would overlook the human species and before that happens; it's not too hard to give a helping hand is it?

The Plight Of Prostitutes In The Persecutor's Perspective

2008-09-07T20:15:00.000-07:00

Prostitutes have always taken all kinds of persecution since the day they were marked. They are among the first to contract newly sprung diseases, physically abused by pimps and clients, murdered by serial killers, blamed for the downfall of immoralities, considered part of the social ills, imprisoned, burnt at the stake, tortured, shamed and hated and yet they persist even in the worst of conditions. Except for some countries where protitution is legalized to protect women in that profession, most of the other parts of the world condemns it openly and dehumanizingly. While God's teaching doesn't encourage believers to be judge, jury and prosecutor so who are the ones casting stones?

The idea of using one's body for sexual gains has been taught for generations to be something vile and despicable, criminal and condemnable but strangely enough only the women are prosecuted. How is it so? The men who visit them are never wrong or charged. Even from a humane point of view something doesn't seem right here. Time and again we see prostitutes being carted away like animals while the cameras try to get a glimpse of their faces. Police, law enforcers, TV crews and just about everyone else working on the expose will be there to unearth the dirty laundry for the world to see. How self righteous can that be?

There are girls and women who are forced into that profession and there are those who work for the pleasure and fortune that comes with it. Whatever their reason they should not be pinnalized for the action like a hard core criminal who is condemned to a life sentence. Why women get into prostitution is another issue that has to be answered by women themselves. With proper education, guidance and love I doubt anyone would want to sell themselves to strangers to get a few dollars worth. There are better things to do with our lives than to roll around in bed, or wherever, whole day long feeling like a piece of meat.

The picture society has painted on prostitutes, hookers, street walkers and sex workers are incredibly horrifying. They are like diseased rats scurrying in the back lanes waiting to contaminate helpless men, men who cannot deny and control their hunger for lust. They are vile and perverse, disgraceful in the eyes of the decent, god-fearing, respectable human beings. But where does this judgment come from? Who speaks them and makes them jurisprudence? Even if prostituting oneself is against the law then where is the compassion? Why are women targeted for these raids when some of them are the true victims of the circumstance or trafficking?

Legalizing prostitution and drugs are being practiced in Amsterdam and the rate of crime is far from what could be expected from this legal enforcement. Countries that are run by leaders who sit on their high horses should be more concerned about making developments to minimize poverty and increase knowledge, not to curb the citizen's with defunct dogmas and out dated doctrines where suspected criminals are dragged out to the open to be hung or burnt. If legalizing prostitution means proper care and security for the women in this professsion than why not do it? At least cases of women being smuggled and forced would be easily detected, their health care could be monitored, pimps could be done away wirh and men who frequent them will be more aware before taking out on them to release their anger.

By making this world's oldest profession a legitimate business transaction will there be a sudden boom of young girls and matured women signing up to trade themselves for a price? Even if it is so, at least they will be well protected from being victimised just because they are considered the weaker sex rather than having everything hush hush and swept under the carpet while they pay the price for being women.

People do forget that sex workers are people too. If she is being mistreated she is hurt just as badly as when you cut yourself with a knife. When some self righteous people preach about prostitutes deserving what they get what does it mean with they experience the same misfortune that befalls them? Do decent and impeccable people deserve what they get too when something bad happens to them?

Behind every woman

2008-09-02T22:11:00.000-07:00

Behind every man
is a woman,
but behind every woman
is a mother,
a wife,
a sister,
a grandmother,
an aunt,
a friend,
and then
a lover of sorts...

The Breast Is Yet To Be Part 1

2008-08-06T19:25:00.000-07:00

The bra and the woman are like best of friends and worst of enemies. Most women that I know always has some complains about the brassiere they wear but few of them make it known as an issue because it's not that kind of thing women talk about.

Wearing a bra can be quite an uncomfortable experience if it doesn't fit well with the body especially for a long period of time. To have something restrictive strapped around the chest is not only uncomfortable but can be down right aggravating.

In a research, most women don't even know their own cup size because many are not taught how to measure their own breasts to suit the existing bra. Mass produced bras are made to clothe not fit. But if your are fortunate they might work for you instead of against.

One of the easiest way to be familiar with your cup size is to measure your frame or ribcage below your breast and then over your breast, find the difference and check against the table below.

Half inch One inch Two inches Three inches Four inches Five inches Six inches Seven inches		AA cup A cup B cup C cup D cup DD or E cup F cup G cup

The difference will indicate your cup size and then add 5 inches to the measurement of your frame or ribcage and round up the digit to the higher even number. But it is only an approximation and it may not work for everyone. For those who find it difficult to get a mass produced bra to fit, the next best thing would be a custom made bra which may cost a little more but fits like a hand to a glove.

The kid who cried Mother! (390 words)

2008-07-28T20:43:00.001-07:00

The parents left her at the pre-school cum day care center whether she liked it or not. I only knew this when I heard the small girl bawling away, screaming for her mother and her father to take her home. They tried to persuade the little girl and told her everything was all right, that they would be back to take her home before she knew it. To make matters worse, the teacher slash child-carer told her a whale of a tale just to get her to go inside and shush up. I stood at my window watching the entire scenario and thought how traumatizing it must be for the kid to be caught in a situation she doesn’t understand. I could hear from her screaming and wailing that she was afraid of being abandoned with total strangers and must be wondering what she did to deserve that.

This harrowing experience went on for a long time with both parents feeling awkward to leave their child there and yet they have to consider their obligations to make ends meet. Eventually, with the help of the teacher slash aide, they left their kid with her continuous pleading and clamoring and drove nervously away. I can almost hear them whispering, ‘a child's got to learn how to blend in', and it is not the first time I’m hearing that too.

The child went on about her lamentation for the longest time she could without passing out. I was so perturbed by the entire hullabaloo I began to question the necessity of forcing children into environments they are not comfortable with. Although they do not have the capacity to evaluate conditions or make decisions, I am quite sure they have their instinctive nature to sense the surroundings and know why they don’t belong. Shouldn’t children be allowed to voice their apprehension about anything should they feel compel to? It’s only too obvious that communication is not part of this family’s perception.

Most of us discount children's expressions as infantile and imaginary. Those days a good spanking was the only way to make children behave themselves and not go beyond what they are expected to be. If we don't even listen to what children have to say how could we ever understand them and know their fears and anxieties are? They may not be able to vocalize it the way we do but they will still be able to express it just the same.

Fast-forwarding this scenario to another thirty years, or less, would the child have the right to place her parents in a home if she feels they are beyond her care? Would she be held responsible and judged if her parents plead with her to take them home because they are not used to that kind of environment? Or should she just let the male nurse slash warden take them back inside and tell them everything's going to be all right? I shudder at the thought.

The Woman

2008-07-08T07:30:00.001-07:00

Should a woman have
the softness of a breath,
the passion of a sigh,
the firmness of reality,
the weakness of illusion,
the gentleness of a caress,
the strength of a legend,
the beauty of a fairy tale,
the love of a goddess,
the understanding of a man,
and simply be a ‘woman’ in bed?

Rock The Cradle Without The Label (696 words)

2008-06-30T20:50:00.000-07:00

We all rant and rave about how this is a man's world and that women has very little say or do in it. But did you ever think about how each and every women contributed to make it such as well? I don't think men alone can make the world completely his without the strength of the women to hold him up or buttress him.

First of all, like what William Ross Wallace says - The hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world - and how true it is too. Parent's influences on their children are far greater than anyone else's in the entire family, especially the mother's. If she chooses to teach her children well about the equality of genders, her children will understand the necessity of impartiality and respect. But if she dotes on the son like a little emperor because of his gender, he will grow up thinking he actually is the kaiser, the mikado, the khan. He will emulate his mother's hypothesis about women in general and he will exercise his machismo to the brim.

It gets worse if he finds girls who literally succumb themselves to all his whims and fancies, beck and call. It also goes back to core of the complication when girls allow themselves to be dominated and dictated by their boyfriends the way the are taught to yield. Thrust with the decision making and iron rod ruling how can a man not want that position when he is offered? In the animal kingdom, the males are procreators that need to sustain life and carry the seed of its species to the future generations. Do we humans perceive man in that manner as well? That he is the king of the jungle and he can have as many women as he wants because his greatest contribution to mankind is his spermatozoon? In some cultures and in some parts of the world, men are still highly regarded as demigods.

But times are changing our mindsets as we know it. Days when women were objects and playthings are not part of our customs and lifestyles anymore, with the exception of some, and women are a major resource in the development of countries. Yet, in the remoteness of a home, a woman's role is still being analyzed and observed, mainly by other women. She is expected to be the wife , the mother, the homemaker, the worker, the beauty queen. On the other hand a man is just expected to be a man. Do what he will, do what he must. Or so it's been taught, but it is being redefined.

The idea of this being a man's world is so dated and parochial. Some people cling to this thought as though it's a god given mandate that cannot be modified or ameliorated. It's about time children are taught to come together without prejudice and discrimination regardless of the way their biological bodies are structured. Social and cultural differences based on the human body seems so far fetched and ludicrous but that has been the greatest cause for death.

All the 'shoulds' and 'should nots' criteria about what a man or a woman has to be is as irrelevant as the battle of the sexes. The more we plunge into the dramatics of how each and every gender should behave the more death traps we set for ourselves. If lovers and spouses want to be at logger heads with each other to prove the superiority of masculinity over femininity or vice versa then the world might as well be separated into two divisions of the male species and the female species living independently. It doesn't matter what sexual preference one may have but these two genders still need the essence of the other to evolve.

So as a woman, a girl or a feminine creature, what part do you play to make this earth a man's world? And as a wife, a sister, a daughter and a mother how would your hand rock the cradle so that one day, some day there will be no more injustices inflicted upon anyone because of his or her gender.

Curse Of The Boobs People (337 words)

2008-06-10T02:20:00.000-07:00

In the recent articles and news in the papers, there were some concerns about women's boobs being too exposed for their own good. Claims that women or girls in general who wear thinly disguised fabric, especially school girls, are asking for it if anything unfortunate happens to them. The firm believe that girls are raped because they deserve it is still believed to this very day and the saddest part of this argument is that some women themselves agree with that notion. Some women talk about their own bodies as though it is a sin to have a curvaceous and voluptuous form.

The controversy of women's breasts are a wonder when it comes to health and copulation. They can function as a source of nourishment for babies and they can satisfy their lover's needs. And in some countries, they are considered a taboo that can cause the fall of mankind. Such wonders are the mammary glands.

Will there ever come a day when all women will be proud of their own breasts and make up no excuses for having them? Can they actually look into their femininity with a little more self worth and admire their bosoms be they large or small, scraggy or rotund, flat or full without felling sorry for having them? When that day comes, women would be doing greater things to make their lives better than to spend time criticising each other's boobs for the sake of men.

For women who deem themselves as the unfortunate temptress and seductive whores, there's always the simple corrective plastic surgery to debeautify themselves to save men from damnation and hell. It would be better for a woman who feel inferior about their breasts to have a mastectomy than to live like a second class citizen just because she has them.

A poem about breasts can be read from Oriah Mountain Dreamer's website - http://www.oriahmountaindreamer.com - and once you're done celebrating your breasts perhaps it would be a good time to have a vagina monologue as well.

Woman, why do you do that to yourself? (629 words)

2008-06-02T22:07:00.000-07:00

This woman's husband puts her down in front of her family members. He uses adjectives like useless and stupid every time he speaks to her but she allows him to go on. When he runs out of money he asks her for it and she willingly gives. Once in a while an argument erupt from both of them but she keeps reassuring herself he'll change, he'll be the kind of man she wants him to be. Then one day she finds out about his infidelity and she laments silently in her locked room night after night. She doesn't know what to do and how to confront him. But inevitably, that day comes and the secret is out of the bag and there are accusations and blames thrown at one another and their final decision is divorce. They sign and part but he comes back. He says he needs some time to pick up his miserable life since the other woman is gone. So they are together now. She still wants to believe he will be that man for her even when he begins to be the jerk he was when they got married. She still allows him to hang on and strut around as though they are married. She still suffers from the lack of confidence when he is around her but she hopes someday he will come through.

She does everything from cleaning to cooking to taking care of her in laws to pleasuring her husband. He works and brings home the money for all their expenses. Even when she's sick she has to make sure the food is on the table. Even when there's not enough money she makes sure she stretches it for as long as she can. Even when there's no washing machine she makes sure the laundry is done every day. The house remains in constant cleanliness. The plants are watered and there are no unwashed dishes in the sink. She drives them anywhere they want to go. She spends her time learning to cook better from her friends. She exercises whenever she can. She watches TV to lose herself from reality. She says; "It's all fated."

Her husband doesn't want her to be seen with other men. She complies. Her husband says a woman's place is in the kitchen. She agrees. Her family reminds her how lucky she is to have a good husband and a roof over her head. She nods. Her friends talk only about women things, and she responds. The elders tell her to have more children because they are such a joy. She obeys. Now she is old and tired. Her beauty is worn and gone. Her husband cannot stand being close to her. Her family ignores her. But she carries on to tell her daughter that a woman is no more than a man's plaything because it has been that way since the beginning.

She now plays the big boy's games. To be up there and among them she sheds her femininity and adopts a foreign personality to compete with them. She believes she has to be atrocious, unsympathetic and head-strong. She can't stand people weaker than her, especially other women. She believes she is the epitome of womanhood and nothing should stand in her way. She tries hard to reject her own femininity that can be misconstrued as vulnerability. But every time when she is alone, she is angry with herself and the world. She has lost her ability to cry and her maid is closer to her kids that she will ever be. She is afraid to acknowledge her anxieties because she feels she has come too far to throw it all away. After all, this is what it takes to be in a man's world.

Handbags That Costs Lives (461 words)

2008-06-01T20:23:00.000-07:00

The snatch thieves are so rampant today I wouldn't be surprised if a handbag is snatched every hour of the day in the entire country. This offense, which has been around since handbags were in existence, is still considered by many a petty crime. Time and again women are badly injured, slip into coma from the nasty fall, and occasionally die from the unfortunate freak accident of being at the wrong place at the wrong time. Countless articles and features have been written about it, communities are becoming more aware of this heinous act and even the police have been on a constant lookout for the perpetrators, but still they come back.

Although measures have been taken by the authorities, women themselves have to go the distance to protect and safe keep themselves as well. For the elderly a lot of them have chosen to discard the handbags altogether, especially when walking in unsafe neighborhoods. But many still choose to dangle their designer bags that seem like an invitation for disaster in a society driven by a voracious appetite for more.

The necessity of the bag is causing more lives to be at stake rather than becoming a fashion statement these days. Perhaps it's time women take another look at themselves and ask if they need to lug a hangbag around to enhance their femininity or compromise by saddling themselves with something more practical.

Back then, when life was simple an individual moving about from place to place may require the possession of some ID and cash. But these days the number of credit cards, charge cards, ATM cards, numerous IDs and membership cards can't even fit into one wallet. On top of that, for a woman, she needs her basic make up kit, moisturizer, lip balm, tissues, extra pads, PDAs or handphones and a load of other paraphernalia only a female would know. But then again, is it really necessary?

The elegance and vogue of slinging a precarious but stylish bag on one's shoulder has come to an era where femininity is put to the test. Men who view that as a weakness are taking opportunities every which way they can to hurt women they can't possess.

Sometimes, it looks as though a woman has to be a Sarah Connor (from the Terminator series), or Ultraviolet, Aeon Flux or a Michelle Yeoh to get by in this male-oriented world, but then again women were once Amazons.

It's about time women reconsider the things around them that make them vulnerable and question the essentiality that regard them as feminine. Who decides what women's qualities are anyway? Fashion designers? Husbands? Women themselves? Whoever it is, is it worth bearing the trouble for a small pleasure? Let's not even get started with heels.

Telling Tales (711 words)

2008-05-11T22:49:00.000-07:00

If you spend so much time trying to figure out what the tell tale signs of a man or a woman are then how much time have you got left to live like a decent one? Is it even important to tell apart what a man or woman like physically, mentally and emotionally? Does it serve any purpose if you get to know your partner, friend or lover under these circumstances? When you truly love someone, minimizing a person to the constraints of his sexuality will do nothing more than harm your relationship. How many times have we heard axioms like 'she's a woman, she can't help herself from being insufferable' or 'he's a man, he'll always have sex on his mind.' If this concept of marginalizing ourselves just because we look different than it's as good as going back to the caves where we once lived in fear.

Putting aside the obvious distinction of what a man and woman is to each other, at the bottom of it all lies more similarities than anyone wants to admit. Sure you could count the ribs and compare the brain activities, but ultimately we all hurt the same. You could still map out the way females and males handle pain but where is it going to get you? Farther and farther away from each other until the distance is too vast to reach out anymore, that's where it will get you. By measuring up to one another about how much or how little either one contributes to life and existence, living harmoniously will be out of the question. Believing that every man is a potential rapist is like believing that every woman is a potential slut. Either way, nobody wins. As long as there is the battle of the sexes, there will always be casualties.

There will always be disagreements between two persons regardless of their gender because everyone is wired uniquely in his or her own form. We are not clones and we don't function with one rule that says how to be a man in ten easy steps or how to be a woman at a glance. We live, we learn and we pay the price for what we believe in. Sooner or later, like it or not, whatever we leave behind in ignorance will catch up with us and shock us in the face like an old ghost from our secret past. Deal with it now and there will be no more dirty little secrets to unearth. If you meet someone you enjoy spending time with, what's a little stain where both of you could help clean up.

If you are so caught up with quantifying your love against someone with a set of criteria you will only forfeit you future with a string of repeated delusions, and worse if passed on to the next generation. Some times society, that includes us, place so much of expectations and assumptions on men and women it's frightening for a person to even want to grow up. The list of things of dos and don'ts can be quite intimidating. Men are expected to be the provider, the protector, the problem solver and the women are expected to be the family maker, the comforter, the sustainer. Of course those are just some of the requirements that are often spoken about but however you look at it, it is still bias in every sense of the word.

The thin line that is drawn between genders is evaporating rapidly with the change that is brought about by technology. Sooner or later everyone will realize that there are a lot more things, which we once held so high in our beliefs, will mean nothing more than just a thought that is easily forgotten. It's not because we are losing sight of the grandeur of chivalry of men or the fairness of women, but the evolution from being uppity and anal-retentive is taking us to greater heights where everyone is noble in their own way. That day will come when we could all sit back and laugh at the good of days when women were women and men were men because some good old folks said we should stick to this segregation for the good of all mankind.

Being a damsel in distress (763 words)

2008-05-04T21:52:00.000-07:00

Playing the role of a damsel in distress is one of the major roles girls reenact to get the attention from guys. It may seem like a fine and dandy thing to do, especially if it was a Broadway musical where a girl can't get a man out of her hair or when she can't help but love that man. This game has its moments and its quirks but it only remains as such until the thrills and chills have gone. After the dating stage or marriage stage, very seldom do we see a damsel in distress getting her way with things. This form of entertainment is not a very ideal way to start a relationship since it won't even last until all the love songs are sung. Both genders have the capabilities of looking out for one another so what does a damsel want to be rescued from anyway? To dump this load of responsibility on men alone is just as bad as women allowing themselves to be treated incongruously.

Boys were taught to be gentler with the fairer sex ever since they were kids and girls were taught to be fair and gentle to get that kind of treatment from boys. Although attributes of guys and girls vary in degrees, the fact remains that they are already segregated with this first lesson of sexism. If there is ever going to be equality that both men and women of today seek, then an early education for kids to understand this status should have already been inculcated in them. The list of dos and don't for being male or female should be spoken with care and concern so that the growing up children will not demarcate themselves according to this erroneous class of distinction. The argument on who's better and stronger can last another century but the fact that both the sexes should be encouraged to perform better should not be restricted by their gender. To tell a girl she shouldn't play football because it's a boy's game or climb a tree or take up motor mechanics is damaging to a child's mind. She would not understand the concept of alienation from something she likes other being born as a person with more limitations and less tolerance. She may even come to hate her status due to the fact that she has to be subjugated and domesticated. Thus, this is where girls are led to believe that they cannot take care of themselves without the help of their male counterparts. And so begins the making of the damsel in distress.

It is only when the girls become women in their later years that they discover there is no truth in this fairy tale of the knight in shining armor who comes to sweep them off their feet. She would be lucky if the guy she marries her treats her as a coequal. Feeling like a helpless schoolgirl all her life, a woman's journey is only the beginning when she starts her career in the dog eat dog habitat. She may find that playing the role of the weaker sex will not get her anything but overbearing males with animalistic intents. At this point, she has two options. To carry on being the unprotected species that needs to be saved or to stand up and discard all forms of misconceptions that were put in her head. Either way, it's no easy task to put things back into perspective. If she had been known all along as the frail kitten who has nothing much to be concerned about except for the color of her nails, no one would take her seriously. If she is regarded as the infuriating tigress then that will be another level of lifestyle to uncomplicate. And to think, all these are stamped from one miscalculated fallacy of playing the role of the helpless woman.

I suppose to those who choose to she can wait for a man to rescue her like a chivalrous hero. But with the world spinning so fast these days she may just remain in the hole she has dug for herself and be a lonely distressed damsel in the end. It's not about standing behind the man, it's not about standing by the man, it's about standing side by side with him that makes more sense to go boldly where no man or woman has gone before. Equality goes both ways. Most men are not cut out to be knights in shining armors anyway so it's good to leave some things like the popcorns at the movies.

Dialoging with existentialism (716 words)

2008-04-28T22:38:00.000-07:00

"Women don't behave that way."
"And what way is that may I ask?"
"They don't use foul languages, they don't snort or grunt, they don't guffaw but giggle at most and they have to be demure and coy when they are spoken to."
"Since when did that happen?"
"About the time from the beginning of mankind."
"What other criteria must one have to be a woman?"
"She has to learn how to cook well, sew the curtains, cushion covers and basic clothes for the family, be easily mesmerized by shiny objects such as jewelries, learn to raise children, be ready to support the family when the man is unable to, be loving most of the time and also be good in bed."
"Wow, that's a lot of demands."
"Being a woman is never easy."
"Then why are women not equal to men?"
"Because they are made that way. To serve men. Remember Eve?"
"But is that story even true?"
"There you go, how could you be a woman when you start asking questions like that? Proper women don't ask they just abide by the rules and regulations set for them to follow."
"Phew, it's a tough decision to make."
"That's a good sign."
"What is?"
"Being indecisive. It's a woman's trait."
"Really? How did you come to that conclusion?"
"I'll answer you this time, but once you've decided, no more questions. It's the hormones, it makes them fickle, indecisive, hypersensitive, temperamental and erratic."
"Good grief."
"That's the price to pay. But look on the bright side, you get to wear all kinds of makeup, don on any kinds of elaborate clothes, be pampered by beauty products, salons, and men. You'd be taken care of by some rich guy who wants you for himself."
"But..."
"But of course that's only when you are beautiful or drop dead gorgeous."
"But..."
"But if you are not, you'll have to end up working menial jobs to make a living for the entire family. You may have to wake up as early as five in the morning to get the kids ready for school, take the public transport and wait for hours to get to your work place, pick up all the mess other people make and come back home in time to pick up all the mess your family makes and cook dinner for everyone. You won't have time or much else to spend on and that's fine too since you won't be able to fit into any designer clothes, have the right skin texture to exhibit to the world or a face that needs any makeup because they won't help anyway."
"But..."
"But if you work hard enough, you can afford to shape up a little more with the right cosmetic surgery so that you will pass for somebody pleasant and you may get a better job behind the desk or something."
"I feel sick."
"That's how you'll feel if you get pregnant. But if for some reason nature plays a cruel trick on you and you can't conceive, you'll be the talk of the in laws. And you'll envy the other women for popping out children like spring bunnies when you can't even have one for yourself."
"Can I exchange myself when I get tired of it?"
"You can't. It's against the law. It's abnormal and it's gross."
"But..."
"But you'll start looking like a man after menopause anyway, so why bother?"
"When do I have to decide?"
"Now. There's a long queue waiting."
"One last thing. My love life..."
"You shall love only one man and one man only. Anything out of this normality is considered illegal."
"That's very limiting."
"There's a small clause that says you become a woman at your own risk. You cannot hold us liable should anything untoward happen to you. And that you will be treated as such according to the place of your birth."
"What does that all mean?"
"Nothing much really, just that you have to be aware of the possibilities of sexual assault, intimidation from certain parties and be controlled by some conventions. That's all."
"But..."
"No buts. Yes or no?"
"But..."
"Yes or no?"
"Yes."
"Sign here and move on to the next level."
"If..?"
"No more questions. Now move along. Next! Who wants to be a woman?"